We're Gonna Make You Gay
by polar.amity
Summary: The lead writer of Criminal Minds tried to reason with Mathew Gray Gubbler. "Every time we get you on screen with a woman test viewers and critics all hate them. We're going to have to make you gay." MxM pairing, RL-POV, Rated M for future lemons. Spencer ReidXOther Character, Mathew GublerXOther Character.
1. Chapter 1

"We're going to make you gay."

Matthew Gray Gubler, resident boy-genius/lunatic of the hit show Criminal Minds hesitated. "What?"

"Sorry, Matt, we tried, really; but every time we get you on screen with a woman test viewers and critics all hate them. You know we've tried like four girls." Debbie, the lead writer of the show tried to reason with her actor.

"So your solution is to make me gay?" Matt squeaked in an incredulous, annoyed tone.

It was a well-known fact that Garcia's character had been mostly based off of Debbie's personality so it was no surprise that when the woman spoke she'd have facts to back up her claims. "We didn't come to this solution lightly, we've ran a question air and on screen testing with target audience groups, we did a poll on the web site—"

"Do you think Dr. Reid should suck co—?"

"'Who," she cut him off loudly, "'should be Dr. Reid's next love interest?' was the title of the poll, and the choices were: Prentiss, Garcia," she emphasized, "a new female character, or Morgan?"

"Oh, dear God, you're going to set me up with Shemar." The pure look of horror was almost comical.

The writer fluttered her hands at him, gesturing for him to calm down, "Morgan is as straight as it gets, that would cause us to lose a huge chunk of fan base. So, no, not with Morgan. However, the poll did see a 77 percent vote for Morgan. And, as I was saying, Matt," She pressed, snapping her long polished fingers at him, "you already have a large following of female viewers who are sympathetic to the gay community, as well as a large amount of gay men."

"I don't know where you guys get your information from."

"The studio pays a lot of money, Matt, to know what the viewers want and to effectively maintain and or increase views, A.K.A revenue, A.K.A your pay check, pretty-boy. That aside, why don't you visit some fan pages sometime? Ever heard of fan fiction pal? They aren't piling you with pussy over there." Giving away the distinct possibility that she had read a good deal of it.

If the title hadn't had been so self-explanatory he would honestly have no idea what she was talking about. Fiction written by fans, about him? He made a mental note to check that out latter—wait, 86 that. Criminal Minds was a dark show with dark viewers; reading about himself being killed by "un-subs" and probably A LOT worse didn't sound like a fun way to spend his spare time.

He pulled a dramatic sigh, "Look, it sounds like the choice has been made. I'm a living Barbie doll, give me script and I'll follow it. But know that I do this under duress and if this doesn't increase ratings I'll be evoking my rights to consider my contract. My manager is the one that really studied that old thing, but I'm certain somewhere in there it has to say Reid doesn't suck dick."

"If ratings don't increase I promise you Matt, I'll pull the plug on this experiment myself." She promised.

Gubler turned and made his way to the booth, the only room in studio D16 with any prospective quiet at lunch time. The actors of C.M. were big league in the grand scheme but this wasn't an A-list Hollywood hit, the studio didn't have the money to fund a trailer for each actor. Instead the girls got a huge wardrobe room that had been tricked out with cubicles, and the guys had a large walk-in style closet with a folding screen for the shy boys to change. It wasn't glamorous, but it worked. Besides, every penny not spent on the little luxuries at the office probably got split up (into fractions, of fractions, of fractions, of that penny) into which a percentage was put in his pocket. Maybe. So, the sound booth would have to do for a little quiet brooding and lunch.

Fruit salad and cashews is the practical choice for skinny ass model/actors. He sat cross legged on a rolling chair and spun it around like a child would as he picked at his fruit.

Gay.

Dr. Reid wasn't Gay.

And Gubler was defiantly not gay! He'd been accused of it enough in his life, though. First, of course, in school, having had always been a little smaller and prettier than the other boys; and occasionally with his family, especially when he had "come out" to them as a model: his brothers had loved that. His own mother had even called him androgynous once. Fucking family.

But he wasn't gay! He had nothing against the gays, it was just that women were so… perfect. He thought of all the beauties he had seen and been with, he'd been pretty lucky in the lady department. He sighed, loosing unknown amount of time thinking on that pleasantness.

Katie, Courtney, Tammy, Jennifer, Shequanda, Rachel, Sarahi`, Stephania, Natalie, The Christinas, Sheila, Dora, Shanna, Lucia, Heather, Ramona, Roxanna-Oh God, Roxxxxana-Laura, Pansy, Dilruba, Emily, Andrea, Niqroya, Lucy, Jasmine, Patricia, Diana, Meredith, Betty, Alicia, Kimberly, Yannah, Hillary, Mackenzie, Mary-Beth, Alexandra…he was sure there was more, but one man can only be asked to remember so much!

The idea of having to kiss a guy was just…. And, somehow, he didn't like that they wanted to make Reid gay. He knew Reid wasn't really his character: some writer had dreamt up the geeky, nervous, half-crazy, genius that was Reid; Matt had just given the man a face. But after all these years playing him, portraying the emotions and depicting the soul of the man, it was hard to let a few viewers and some internet poll change Reid like that. Then again, if the viewers didn't like Reid, they'd have him killed-probably raped to death by a giant, gross un-sub—

Oh, God! What if the actor they choose is gross? He dropped a pineapple chunk. What if it's some over the top muscle man that bruises him during a "romantic" scene? Not to sound like a wimp, but he was small framed and light weight, the last thing he needed was some behemoth leaving him black and blue after every shoot.

This sucked! He pulled out his cell and auto dialed his agent. "Hey Devon, it's Gubler. Listen, stuff's getting hairy at the set; I need you to bone up on my contract in case I have to dash."


	2. Chapter 2

"Cut!" Called the director, "That's it for the day guys, thank you." Nobody actually says 'rap' in Hollywood.

Matt turned back into Matt, hanging Reid's personality and feelings on a little mental coat wire in the closet of his mind like you would a favorite suit.

He began his "good-day"s to his co-workers and friends, the actors, the director, the set guys…

"Wait! Matt!" Debbie came bouncing over, "Okay, so I know it's only been a couple days, but we think we've found Reid a match!"

"You did type casting already?"

"No." She paused for dramatic effect, obviously proud of herself for whatever trick she pulled, "I was talking to the writer of Law&Order about our little experiment and she immediately recommended this extra she used last month. Said he had a lot of potential and had kept his file in case they ever needed another guy, but she's willing to let him go to us, especially for you Gub. Think she's got the hots for ya, who hasn't, right?" She purposed and dismissed in the same breath.

"Okay. When do you want to do a rehearsal?"

"Well, you're not going to believe our luck! He's actually here today—like, now."

This sounded like a set up, "Really?!" He feigned excitement sarcastically.

Debbie frowned and folded her hands together in good old fashioned begging style and in a whiney voice pleaded, "Please, Matt, do you have a few minutes? Just to go through a few lines with him? It would save the studio a good deal of budget if we just found you a guy."

The last bit didn't help, he felt a distinct motherly defense come over him and had to bite his tongue so he didn't bark out, 'Reid's not a cheap date!'. This particular swallow of pride was not for Debbie's benefit, but his own. For all her pleading and polite suggesting, the fact was Debbie was boss's boss. This 'request' was just a sweet charade, either he did it or he was sacked. Therefore, "Darling Debbie, anything for you, my writer extraordinaire." He put on a cheesy smile.

"Aw, you're such a charmer, Matt. Thank you." She bounced away, off the stage-set where it was harder to see the off camera crew, but he could make out her large-ish shadowy figure bounce around a taller large figure. Then, she headed back with two scripts in hand and one model/actor in toe.

Matt could spot another model a mile away. Anyone could be an actor, you didn't have to be beautiful, or thin, or sexy, you just had to read lines in a convincing way. But there was no such thing as an ugly model. And this man was a year or two over the age it took to be an Abercrombie and Fitch guy. He had that perfect male physique; muscly, broad chest, with an itty bitty waist, tall, dark and (professionally speaking) handsome as fuck.

Matt couldn't help but study the guy he was potentially going to have to kiss; he should have the right to be a little picky, right?

Old-Fitch was acceptable at first glance. At least with this guy he wasn't afraid of bruising. And the man wasn't uggles, so that was nice, in a wired way.

He had extra-dirty blond hair, that layered differently, so it looked long but never covered his face; a long forehead gave him that distinct look of intelligence, and it was cut by manly, bushy brows, which had been shaped by a (makeup) artist; proportionately large eyes glowed bright green with flecks of honey-brown. The bridge of his nose was extended, but his nostrils were the perfect size as to not make his nose look too big; it lead to smallish apricot-pink lips accentuated by his dark blonde goatee, always nice to know when the carpet probably matches the drapes. Finally, the whole look was tied together with sun-kissed tan skin. He was a beauty! He should definitely apply for Old Navy, he'd land it as the sexy dad, easy.

"Matt, this Marco Rioux. We hope to set him up as Alec Danes, Reid's new love interest." Debbie introduced him as though he was her creation, "And Marco this Matthew Gray Gubler, he plays Dr. Reid." She introduced Matt in a similar manner. Pshh, writers.

"Nice to meet you, Mr. Gubler." He greeted in the voice you'd expect a Spanish guitar to have. "You're my partner's favorite character on the show, he'd be making a complete fool of himself if he were right now, I'm honored."

He shook Marco's hand, "Maybe I'll get to see him some day." He responded, quickly segueing to the important topic at hand, "So, you're gay?"

"Uh…" A little stunned, Marco hesitated, "yeah, yeah. I guess that you aren't?"

"No. And for the record, I'm a little uncomfortable with the role they want me to play. I'm telling you this right off the bat because I don't want you to think I have any issues with you, it's nothing personal." Disclaimer.

"I get that completely," He smiled (like an angel), "as a model," (knew it!) "I've had to kiss a lot of women, and it can be irksome. But, alas, what we won't do for money, right?"

"Precisely. Thanks for understanding."

"Great"! Debbie interjected.

Matt frowned, sort of having forgotten she was there.

"So here are your lines." She handed both of them the pages, paper clipped together. Now, Marco, normally we would have you type casted, and do lines without a partner and no film, but since you were recommended to me by Ashley, and I've already seen you do lines for her show, we're going to cheat a little and skip ahead. The third phase is usually filmed, so the camera will roll here, but I don't expect any kind of line perfection. This is just to see if the chemistry works between Reid and Alec. Okay?"

"Sounds good." He nodded.

Matt moved over towards a chalk pattern that used to contain an extra playing a dead body. And, with a deep breath, he put on his Dr. Spencer Reid suit.

Debbie called out, "Quiet on set… actors to position… film roll! Marco Rioux as Aleck Danes. Scene four, take one. Action!

"Hey, hansom." Came a seductive voice from behind. Reid turned, question and doubt written on his face as he found a tall, dark and good looking stranger standing behind him, just a little too close.

"Um, are you talking to me?"

"Sure am, cutie." The stranger smiled in a devastatingly sexy way.

"Okay. My name is Dr. Spencer Reid."

"I know, the officer there," he pointed towards the door, "said I should speak with you about what I saw?"

"Please, any information you can give would be a big help. It was you that found the body correct?"

"Yeah," he frowned, "I did." He said slowly, and glancing at the tape outline where the victim's body had been sympathetically. Nice touch.

"Did you know her?"

"Sort of, I'm her dog walker. She seemed like a real nice lady. Can't believe anyone would do this."

"I see. So your relationship with her wasn't extensive?"

"Well, I've been walking Muffins for about two months now. I work through the agency so I don't speak with the clients much, 'Good morning, ma'am. Is. Muffins ready? Thank you, ma'am, Muffins did all his business. See you tomorrow.' You know what I mean, sexy, just the greeting stuff."

Reid ignored the name calling. "I see. How did you come to be inside the house?"

"As I said to the officer, I approached the house, everything seemed normal, until I noticed that the door was ajar. Muffins barked and a few of the other dogs started to get riled up so I tied them to the railing and called in, but there was no answer. I didn't feel right about just shutting Muffins in, so I came in and Muffins pulled me on his leash right along until…" he paused again and sighed sadly, "we found her. Poor Muffins."

"Why are there paw prints in blood on the coffee table?"

"Well, he stepped in some of her… and so I picked him up. It didn't seem right to let him traipse through it."

"You lifted a 140 pound Doberman?"

"Well, Muffins is deceptively big, but he's just a puppy at heart! Can't weigh much more than you, cutie—" He unexpectedly lifted Reid off the floor and carefully set him on the empty hall-desk nearby. That wasn't in the script!

Flustered by the man's unexpected move, and possibly a little bit his strength, and a lot the continued use of the pet names Reid broke.

Calmly but firmly Reid set down the law, "Sir, I am a federal agent. Please refrain from lifting me, and calling me 'cutie'. My name is Dr. Spenser Reid.

"A doctor, hu?" He asked moving closer, effectively keeping Reid from jumping down, unless he wanted to be right up against the flirt.

"Not a medical doctor, I have Ph.D in mathematics, and chemistry, as well as B.A.s in psychology and sociology."

"We could pretend." The witness whispered seductively.

"Look, I'm sorry if I gave you the wrong impression, Reid broke, inching away sideways to aid in his escape, "but I'm n-not…not…"

"Gay?" Alec offered. It was such a small word to implement so much skepticism, accusation, interest and desire; but somehow the guy managed to pull it off.

"Not interested," he added for good measure.

"Alright, doctor."

Something about the way he said 'doctor' gave spencer chills.

"I didn't mean to come on too strong for you, sorry. I'm just a sucker for guys with such pretty lips. Yours are so pink, you use a lot of Chapstick don't you?" he reached up and gently brushed a finger over Reid's bottom lip.

"Sir!" he hissed, pulling back quickly but hitting the unyielding wall behind him.

"Call me Alec."

"Please stop Alec!" he outright begged in a low tone, grabbing the man's hand and moving it away from his face.

His heat thundered a mile a minute, how long was this damned type cast going to last anyway?

"Look at you. You're a wreck! Not used to being touched, hu?" Alec cooed and placed his palms on either side of Spencer's legs, giving the young agent the assurance that, for the moment at least, he was done touching, but once again blocking his intended escape. "Let me make it up to you? "C'mon, been to lunch yet?"

"No."

"I know a great place—"

I mean 'no' I don't want to go to lunch with you." Reid insisted.

"Look, Dr. Reid, I'm not finishing this interview unless you let me take you to lunch."

His eyes flared in disbelief, "A woman is dead! We suspect her killer murdered two other women, and WILL kill again; and you won't help unless I eat lunch with you!?"

"What can I say? I'm as stubborn as a mule."

Gubler glanced over at pretend Prentice considering calling her over before looking back at the man. And in Reid's skin he made the choice to play this game. "Fine."

Alec smiled and with an audacity Reid would never understand he reached down and very briefly pressed a kiss to the FBI agent's lips.

Gubler jumped, again the actor had taken liberties not in the script. The short smooch wasn't that different from the friendly kiss goodbye he and Shemar had shared a few times, or the kiss he gave his brother on Christmas; but somehow it was completely different. He didn't understand how exactly, but it surprised and scared him, and the surprising/scary thing about it was that Dr. Spencer J. Reid liked it.

"Cut! That was perfect I mean wow! What energy, what a connection! Gubler, that was some of your best work yet." Debbie stepped onto the set, breaking the false reality.

Matt took of his Reid suit slowly, stunned to his very core. Spencer was gay!? It was horrible, how could he play the same man for six years and not know spencer was gay? He'd crushed on Emily hadn't he, loved that other chick… this didn't make sense.

"Matt?"

"What?" He realized someone had been talking to him.

"I said what do you think? Does Marco fit?"

He forced himself to smile, "Yeah, he'll do— if it has to be done, right?"

"Such a team player, this one," slightly sarcastic, "you two will really click I think. So, I'm going to run this tape by all the top dogs, but I don't foresee any reason why this won't work: so, Marco I will be in touch.

"Thanks for the opportunity he said politely."

"See you on set, Matt returned with practiced manners as his mind drifted, miles away.

"Looking forward to it, handsome," he winked jokingly and left the set.

Gubler shuddered.

* * *

**More to come, and don't u worry lots of smexy time in the future, I promise. For now, what did you think? I love reviews good and bad. Thanks for reading XOXO **


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